Star Trek Discovery Review: “Incoming Virtue Signal from Starfleet, Captain”

The Colonization of Planet Woke.

To boldly go where no one has (hopefully) gone before…

At this point what are we, four, maybe five episodes into season four? I can’t really be sure because it’s been so incredibly forgettable thus far. ‘Star Trek Discovery’ is so weak on story, so weak on character development, and is failing incredibly hard at creating a sense of immersion in the Star Trek Universe as to being almost painful to watch at this point, and my ass has been in love with Star Trek since my first exposure to ‘Star Trek: The Original Series’ re-runs in the 80’s, back when ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ wasn’t even a thing yet.

I hate to say it, but I’ve taken to referring to ‘Star Trek Discovery’ as “The Upper Decker”, and if you don’t know what that is, it’s when someone takes the lid off of the back of your toilet, drops a deuce in there, and puts the lid back on (And yes, that was a play on words in regards the Paramount+ show ‘Lower Decks’, which is an animated ‘Star Trek’ series that’s by all accounts better than ‘Discovery’ at present, and I do NOT watch cartoons.)..

Seriously, how are you screwing this up?

The cast is great: Sonequa Martin-Green, Doug Jones, Mary Wiseman, Wilson Cruz, Anthony Rapp, etc. They’re all freaking great. How are the writing, the story-telling, and the world building aspects of this show so terrible?

To be perfectly honest it’s almost as if the creators of ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ should have just ditched the ‘Star Trek’ part and gone with, ‘Discovery’. But obviously they needed the brand recognition.

What has this series really done well thus far? I don’t have the time at the moment to go back and re-watch three seasons worth of ‘Star Trek: Discovery’, but from memory, maybe I have to give them credit for crafting at least one solid, “Oh shit! Very cool! Wow, really!” moment per season.

“You can use logic to justify almost anything. That’s its power and its flaw.” – Captain Kathryn Janeway

You sure can, but you won’t have a sound argument. What is the argument for what ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ is doing right now? What’s their mission? What’s their agenda? I’m sure that they have one, but what is it? Because as amazingly well done as the casting has been, I find it hard to believe that they “skimped” when it came time to pay the writers. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong, but I kind of doubt it. The casting, the visual effects, both very well done. I have to believe that there are some top-notch writers bouncing some quality ideas off of the brass, and having those ideas shut down in favor of some agenda.

“Damn it, Jim! I’m a Social Justice Warrior, not a Showrunner.”

And here we more than likely are approaching the problem with ‘Star Trek : Discovery’.

This show is absolutely on a rampant tear to shove just how “woke” they are, in regards whatever it is that they think they’re “championing” down the viewers collective throats, that it is actively distracting in regards creating an enjoyable, and immersive experience while watching what should be a science fiction show, set in a future where money really doesn’t exist, and we’re all freaking equal.

Gene Roddenberry’s ‘Star Trek’ was a utopia. It was set in a future that was presented to the viewer as something to look forward to, something for one to aspire to help create, by embracing, and emulating the tolerance depicted in the fictional future of ‘Star Trek’.

We don’t get that in ‘Discovery’ though. We don’t get that sense of optimism, and hope. That feeling of being almost proud of humanity for their progress, tolerance, compassion, and understanding. It’s unfortunately more, “Queer Ride with the Space Guys” than it is the entertainment, and education that it should be.

In ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ we have two openly gay characters, one character that has to be referred to as “they/them”, and then a third gay/trans character living inside the body/memory of the non-binary character… What the hell is going on here? Sulu was gay, no one cared, Garek in DS9 was probably gay, no one cared.

James T. Kirk, and William Riker were both a little bit too on the Lothario-side for my tastes, but who really cared? It’s not like they ever hit James Bond levels of misogyny.

*Tiny SPOILER in next paragraph*

Now that they’ve magically pried the gay/trans character out of the non-binary characters mind and into a synthetic body, we have what? Four out of, not even really arguably, nine main characters as being on the LGBTQI spectrum?

Why? Why are they making this big of a deal about human sexuality/preference? We have bridge officers that have been on the show from it’s onset that we know practically nothing about… People are people in my book. Why for the love of God is ‘Star Trek: Discovery so focused on LGBTQI characters, and ignoring the character development of just straight up, straight people?

Don’t we all have gay friends at this point, it’s not taboo. It’s almost like the showrunners are struggling through some persecution complex in their own lives, and are using ‘Star Trek’ in an attempt to “normalize” their feelings? Hey, if you enjoy feeling like a victim, then by all means, act like you’re a victim. You’re not, but if that’s what defines you then go for it! Oh, and by the way, you’re absolutely “taking a shit” on people that have actually been victimized at some point in their lives.

We are the Borg, resistance is futile…

Do the showrunners on ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ actually think that they’re championing tolerance, and understanding? They’re not, they’re shoving a fictitiously perceived lack thereof in peoples faces, and right down their throats. Stop already.

I bust my ass at work, day and day out. I spend more time with my co-workers than I do my family. I do my best to make time for myself and catch up on some shows that I like, but instead of the ‘Star Trek’ that I know and love, I get this trash.

Full disclosure, by co-workers what I probably should have said was: the four African-Americans, one Hispanic homosexual, four straight Caucasian people, one of whom is male, and another who might be a closeted lesbian, that I work with. Are you fucking kidding me?

Hopefully you get my point, because if you’re not paying attention, that certainly could be taken the wrong way. Co-workers was enough, neither their ethnicity, nor sexual orientation matter to me in the slightest. We are all people, and we’re all equal.

‘Star Trek: Discovery’ seems to have missed the mark in these regards, and as such are basically trying to assimilate their viewership in the same damned way that the Borg do. You don’t create equality and/or acceptance by forcing your “way” on other people. Equality, and understanding are a byproduct of empathy and experience.

Due to the unfortunate absence of Orion slave girls.

The fact that it is Star Trek is all that much more disconcerting.

A simple word association game should help clear this up:

I say, “Sulu”

You say, “Helmsman”

I say, “Geordi La Forge”

You say, “Engineer”

I say, “Data”

You say, “Android”

If your responses to the above game were instead; “Gay Asian”, or “Black guy”, well then you might be the problem. (I’ll leave you to your own devices as to whether “light-skinned” belongs in your description of Lt. Commander Data.)

The premise of Star Trek is a future built on equality. If the creators of ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ actually think that they’re accomplishing some positive by placing near 50% of the main cast on the LGBTQI spectrum they’re sorely mistaken. Most of your viewership just wants to enjoy an hour of television, and anyone so primitive in their beliefs at this point in time as to not understand that LGBTQI people exist, and are the same as the rest of us… Well those people probably don’t have Paramount+ subscriptions to begin with.

They probably know where the local meth lab is, and drive Ford F-150’s decked out with gun racks and rebel flags. But they’re probably not watching ‘Star Trek: Discovery’. Y’all are preaching to the choir.

This is a pretty shit formula for a show, just saying:

  1. Set-up/Explain Crisis
  2. LGBTQI Character Building
  3. Planning Meeting/More Drama
  4. More LGBTQI Character Building
  5. Launch Mission
  6. More LGBTQI Character Building
  7. Action Sequence
  8. More LGBTQI Character Building

Well I hope that Picard Season Two goes well for you, Paramount+, because I can’t see ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ lasting much longer if that’s the recipe. Seriously, we have what, four bridge officers at a minimum that we know next to nothing about, but damned if we don’t get to learn more about the “spectrum” characters in every other scene.

And in case I haven’t been perfectly clear, an individuals ethnicity and/or sexual orientation means as much to me as it does them. If such things are important to you, then they’re important to me, I would love to hear about your life experiences being a person of color, or growing up on the LGBTQI spectrum, I guarantee that you’ve experienced hardships that I have not, if you want to talk I’ll gladly listen, and empathize with you.

Actually I know what their excuse would be.

Because ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ is set in the future, all of the nasty and oppressive biases have been eradicated, and equality equals diversity. That’s bullshit, we all work, and 50% of our co-workers aren’t LGBTQI people. It’s intentional, and it’s harmful on the part of the ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ powers that be to pretend that there are issues where there are none.

If I saw someone being attacked in the street I would absolutely die defending them. Male, female, gay, straight, transgender, it wouldn’t matter. I would die defending that individual. And ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ has nothing to do with those beliefs.

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